The Roots Are Rotten
by another wannabe author
Summary: After the death of his clan, Sasuke attempts to take his own life. Unsuccessful, he is approached by a strange man who offers him a seemingly harmless compromise, which leads to him joining the organisation everyone thought had shut down years ago. Slight AU.
1. Sasuke Goes to the Hospital

Without thinking, he jumped in.

Sasuke felt the smack of the water's surface in his bones. It was like jumping into jelly with a thin layer of concrete over the top. The air was cold that day, winter and close to snowing in Konoha, and thin, wispy ice crusts had formed on the lake's edges. Sasuke hadn't really jumped in the lake for a reason. It was wholly unintentional. He'd planned on going for a walk to clear his head after visiting the Uchiha compound – it was sickening to think he was a visitor in what had not four days earlier been his own home – since there wasn't much else to do now that…

It was inky black under the surface. The water bit into his skin with shards of arctic teeth, swallowing his senses and growing numb. All initial panic was shed like a skin the deeper he went. His body moved through the thick water, bubbles in his ears and the muffled rush of running liquid somewhere faint behind him. His body fell, deeper and deeper. Sasuke wasn't sure how deep the lake was. Soon, it was difficult to tell which direction was up, and in all his emptiness, he felt the pulse of lungs deprived of oxygen.

His arms thrashed helplessly, and the panic returned with a pang like he'd ran straight into a brick wall. Sasuke had just jumped into the lake, and now he was too lost in darkness to find his way out. He struggled to open his eyes, clamped shut against the cold. The tension in his chest grew stronger with every passing second, trembling fingers clasping at the fabric too tight on his neck. He tried to move the water out of the way, tried to make a pathway for some air from the surface. Lakes didn't work that way. The pressure in his ears, chest and brain all concaved at once; Sasuke gasped with a rush of burning water into his throat, filling his lungs.

He hadn't meant to do this. Not really, not deep down. When Sasuke felt himself dying, it was just a faint glimmer of realisation in the back of his mind. There was no more panic, no fanfare of flashbacks and no great epiphany. Only a quelled sense of peace that barely and fleetingly filled his emptiness.

He barely registered the hand fastening on his wrist and rushing him with inhuman force in the direction Sasuke thought was left, but was actually up. Up to the surface, where they broke into the piercing air. Eyes still closed, Sasuke was sure he should have passed out by now, his body heavier than the morning after a whole day of intense training. His clothes snagged on bitumen and twigs as he was dragged onto the water's edge, head rested on its side. Sasuke faintly heard someone land with a soft breeze on the other side of him when hands pressed firmly on his ribcage three times.

It didn't hurt. Not at first. At first, Sasuke was still recovering from the pounding in his head, the winter air warm on his slippery, frostbitten skin. His hair quickly adapted to the glacial temperature of the grass below him, igniting a spark of returning senses that all at once made him want to scream. Sasuke's head was so cold, then the rest of him was colder, especially his fingers and toes. They were so cold it was as if they were burning. How was that possible? He had no idea. There was no other way to describe it; he was both numb and overwhelmingly feeling.

There was a snap of plastic before warm lips lowered onto his, breathing in scorching puffs of air. The act seemed useless to him, because the air simply pressed halfway down his esophagus before rushing back out. Nothing made it to his lungs. Sasuke wanted to tell the person to leave him alone. He was going to die. That was fine.

No sooner had Sasuke thought this than he found himself vomiting onto the grass, attacked with an onslaught of whooping coughs that scratched the back of his throat and made his head thrum. Sasuke felt a hand patting him awkwardly on the back. When the coughs subsided enough for him to crack an eye at his saviour, Sasuke could only catch a glimpse of skin before the face was covered with a bleak ANBU mask. On the other side of him, Sasuke could see a pair of blue shinobi sandals, and he assumed there was a pair of them.

"And here I was thinking this kid didn't need our watch," the sandals shinobi said tiredly, placing a hand between Sasuke's shoulder blades to assist him into a sitting position.

The other hummed in response, staring at Sasuke from two black, empty eyeholes that made him shudder. Sasuke wasn't ashamed at being caught trying to kill himself. He hadn't planned it at all, so he didn't feel resentful that they'd saved him, either. He felt nothing but the grief that had haunted him ceaselessly, almost driven him out of his mind and carried with it lumps in the throat and stinging eyes. He sobbed, coughed and lowered his head, tears surfacing that he knew he couldn't apprehend. Sasuke brought a hand up to clutch his burning chest, coughing hard enough to turn his face red, and the ANBU cursed.

"We have to take him to the hospital," he told his partner, shrugging a pack off his shoulders. "Take this so I can carry him. We're gonna have to write a report."

Sasuke didn't resist when the ANBU lifted him easily off the ground, adjusting him on his shoulders and slipping strong arms under Sasuke's legs. The other slung his partner's backpack over one shoulder and the two nodded. Sasuke tensed when he felt his stomach drop, wind rushing in his ears as the two ANBU bounded over the rooftops towards the infirmary.

Sasuke shivered feebly against the cold, deaf with the wind filling his ears. It was like a dream, he thought, the weightlessness of vaulting through the air surrounded by nothing but blurry images of places he'd seen in waking hours. But it wasn't a dream. He knew because of the heaviness in his heart and the bitter taste in his mouth. A dream was where Sasuke could see his family again, smiling, welcoming, warm. There was nothing warm about this place, thin layers of ice caked over his slick, purple, trembling skin. This was reality.

Sasuke held tightly onto the ANBU shinobi's sides, eyes clamped shut, unable to do anything but cry.

-x-

The ceiling was white enough to blind you with your eyes shut. Everything was disgustingly sterile, unnaturally white. Sasuke had never had to stay the night at hospital before, and it was not something he thought worth repeating. However, he knew they wouldn't let him go, even if he told them he wasn't going to kill himself anymore. Sasuke was on suicide watch.

He wondered what his parents would have thought, knowing their son was on suicide watch. He wondered even though he didn't want to. The Uchiha family laced every thought in Sasuke's mind, wormed their way into every feeling, being and circumstance. They were everywhere, stained into his skin, etched on his fingerprints so they littered all Sasuke touched. Their blood ran through his veins. Sasuke and the dead Uchiha were one. He felt all their pain. It was the most cruel, agonising form of punishment he could imagine.

Sasuke was glaring at the sheets tucked around him when a deep, commanding voice interrupted his thoughts.

"It's disappointing to find you locked up in here."

Sasuke jumped, eyes darting towards the newcomer who had seated himself in the visitor's chair beside the bed. It was a bland, mustard-yellow piece of ugly furniture, and made the man look every bit like he was too important to sit there.

His robes were elegant, made from rich black silk that shimmered in the artificial light. Embroidered on the hems and sleeves were thin, wiry tree roots that chained together like a brooch to hold it in place on the shoulder. His hands were calloused, wrinkled and dry, each finger thicker than the last, so large Sasuke thought they could break him with just a firm handshake. Worst of all was his face; clean white bandages swallowed his right eye and entire head, the only visible features being chapped lips and a droopy, bagged left eye, squinted shut. A large cross-mark scar on his chin made Sasuke wonder whether the man had been clumsy enough in his past to fall face-first into a pair of kunai. The man was also a complete stranger.

Simply laying eyes on this man had Sasuke fumbling for the call button. The man appeared to sense his unease, chuckling lowly with a lopsided smile.

"No need to be frightened, boy," he said, tugging on the call remote's cord to wrench it from Sasuke's weak hold.

Sasuke swallowed, ready to call out for help, when he saw there was a nurse already standing by the door. Her eyes darted suspiciously between the man and Sasuke, but she made no move to stop this encounter. She was just ushering the man in and making sure all was well. There were people watching him at all times, so nothing could happen to him now, he assured himself. Sasuke relaxed into his pillow and stared at the man in question. His visible eye had creased to the point of being lost amidst his numerous wrinkles.

"My name is Danzo," the man said, his smile falling slightly as he leant back in the chair. The nurse appeared to be called away, and the two were left alone.

"Hello," Sasuke replied, surprised at how croaky his voice sounded. He cleared it absently, watching as Danzo pulled over his lunch tray with a jug of water, deftly pouring him a glass without breaking their gaze. His movements were dignified and sophisticated, much like his mother and her refined poise, graceful demeanour, tinkering laughter that was hopelessly contagious…

Sasuke swallowed, willing his eyes to stop prickling. Danzo handed him the glass and Sasuke thanked him quietly, sitting up straighter in the bed. The water soothed his sore throat and dry mouth. Sasuke eagerly gulped it down. He stared at the man, waiting to see what he had to say, a welcome distraction from his thoughts. Danzo waited for Sasuke to finish the glass, jug in hand, before pouring him another.

"Your name is Sasuke, correct?" He nodded. "Tell me, Sasuke. Do you like it here at the hospital?"

Sasuke paused. He looked at the abundance of white, clothes that belonged to anyone and had been worn by the diseased and bloodied by surgery, cardboard pillow, and window with a view of the adjacent apartment buildings. He was being watched constantly, woken by screams and nurses during the night, stared at with an irksome sympathy in everyone's eyes like they had any clue what he was feeling. Everybody who cared for him didn't _really_ care; they were just doing their job. No company was real company. Nothing was real here. Not the food, not the bedding, not the well wishes, not the adults who didn't know what to do with him. There was no one left to visit Sasuke. He was left to wallow in his grief, to cry himself to sleep. He was on suicide watch, and the moment they thought he wouldn't try to kill himself unsupervised, they would send him back to what he had been doing before – wondering what to do next.

"No," Sasuke said, his voice sounding older than he anticipated. Danzo seemed pleased, his eye crinkling again in that way that made Sasuke feel perturbed.

"No?" said Danzo, as if this was unexpected. "Then you _would_ like to be out of here as soon as possible?"

The more Danzo spoke, the more Sasuke felt his stomach churn with weariness that was so ungrounded he chose to ignore it. "…Yes," he replied.

Danzo's visible eye peeked open as he looked down at Sasuke, his bandaged face unreadable. "Well, good news. There is a way you can be out of here by the end of the day."

Sasuke swallowed. It had only been three days, but living in the hospital with the smell of detergent and people unsure what to say to console Sasuke was enough to drive him crazy. "Tell me. I'll do it."

At the sight of Danzo's shadowy smile, Sasuke regretted his words. "Excellent. It's nothing to be worried about. All you have to do to be discharged from the hospital is come along quietly to Konoha's orphanage."

The words struck him hard. It had been over a week, and Sasuke hadn't thought the word orphan even once. It was true, wasn't it? Sasuke was an orphan. By definition, he was a child with dead parents and nobody left to care for him. He had been orphaned by his older brother, two hundred family members brutally murdered in their own homes and only one left to survive; the youngest, least capable of them all. Sasuke was an orphan. He was orphaned by Itachi, and orphans belonged in an orphanage. It was common sense. Still, a large part of him insisted he didn't belong there.

"…But…" Sasuke stammered, a lump forming in his throat. "I can… why can't I go back to…"

But the Uchiha district was stained with blood. He'd been back once and hallucinated, cried, punched himself, broken things, then attempted suicide.

"I'll live by myself," he insisted half-heartedly. Sasuke knew there was no other option for him. He was an eight-year-old boy, unable to look after himself, grieving and potentially unstable. Other than suicide watch in the hospital, what option did he have?

The look Danzo gave him said the same thing. Sasuke lowered his head in his hands, trying to stop the flow of tears.

"Do we have a deal?" Danzo asked.


	2. Sasuke Goes to the Orphanage

CHAPTER 2

-x-

There were seventeen children in the orphanage, including Sasuke. Most of them didn't remember their parents. Everyone had been living orphaned since at most four years old, except for Sasuke and one other boy who kept to himself. His grief was fresh and piercing, something he thought the other children would understand, but didn't.

Once Danzo left him, two ANBU appeared to escort Sasuke to the orphanage on the outskirts of the village, still within the walls but just barely. The further away from central Konoha they went, the more Sasuke could smell something foul seeping up from cracks in the ground. He suspected a broken sewage pipe. The people changed, too; they went from happy-go-lucky chum buddy busy body wealthy citizen to dirty, ruffed-up, sneering, frowning creatures. Sasuke wasn't accustomed to the uncivilised lower class. Being born into a clan as prestigious as the Uchiha meant being born with a silver spoon.

But there was no Uchiha now. People who heard that name no longer felt fear and admiration; they were filled with pity. Sasuke had always thought that because he had the Uchiha surname, his future promised greatness, prosperity and wonder. He thought he had so much to look forward to. Now, he realised he was nothing more than a boy relying on a name. He was just Sasuke.

When they finally arrived at the orphanage, a big-bosomed woman had ushered Sasuke inside with a cigarette dangling out the corner of her mouth and three wiry, black hairs on her chin. She wore a dirtied frock and had a brusque man's voice, nose that looked like it had been hammered flat and beady, squinting eyes. Sasuke wasn't sure if he liked her or not – after all, how could someone dedicating their lives to raising orphans by any means be bad – but after seeing the way she manhandled the others, shouted herself hoarse and spat phlegm on the ground they walked, he realised he might be wrong. Everything, from the doors creaking on loose hinges to the missing planks of wood in the hallway, managed to carry with it a sense of despair. Mothballs had accumulated in every nook. The air was stuffy and went through his nose like a dense cloud. Sasuke worried staying inside too long would damage his lungs.

The ANBU said nothing, simply leaving him there to be swept up into the dining hall where the other kids were having lunch. Or, it was called 'lunch'. It was actually the choice between brown, gurgling muck with the consistency of porridge, or a bowl of unflavoured corn chips. Sasuke was shoved into a seat at the long table between two people he didn't know, trying his best to avoid their eyes, feeling the full weight of homesickness and grief on his shoulders. There were entirely too many empty seats at the table for its size. He took one look at the brown gunk and could only think about the nice food his mother would have made instead.

"Hey, a new kid," the boy to his right said, as if it were a novelty. Sasuke had been informed that he was the first new child to come into care since the beginning of the year.

The boy on Sasuke's left, unbecoming grey hair held low in a ponytail, leant his chin in his hand and distractedly pushed some of the mush with his spoon. He seemed disinterested, much to Sasuke's relief. Unfortunately, the boy to his right was excited enough to be bouncing in his seat.

"Hi," he greeted amiably between a mouthful of chips. "Your parents must have just died, huh? That's rough."

Sasuke squinted at him from the corner of his eye. The boy withdrew, sensing hostility, dirt-covered hands digging around in the bowl for more chips. His hair was dirty blonde (literally) and there were smudges across his cheeks, as well as strange striped scars that gave the impression of a stray cat. His eyes were a nice blue, kind. The boy quieted for a moment before perking up and reaching under the table, only to withdraw a small container and scrape its contents onto the side of Sasuke's plate. It was even browner stuff, in a good way; rich, gooey and decadent.

"Here, you can have my pudding!" the boy said brightly, flashing Sasuke the cheeriest smile he'd ever seen. "I was saving it for last, because it's really yummy, but you can have it. It'll make you feel better!"

Sasuke glanced at the pudding, oozing ever closer to the undesirable mush on the other side of his plate. Even though he hadn't eaten solid food in two days, Sasuke grimaced and felt his stomach churn.

"I don't like sweets," he said simply, lowering his head to stare at the crude carvings in the wood of the table.

The boy gawked at him. "You don't like _sweets_ are you _serious _why _not?"_

Annoyed, Sasuke tried to glare at him, but his heart wasn't in it. "I just don't."

He hummed thoughtfully, swinging his legs under the chair. "Can I have yours, then?" he asked hopefully.

"Leave him alone," the kid on Sasuke's other side admonished. He looked older than the blonde boy, maybe a teenager, and much more tired. Sasuke could resonate with that. He pushed his round glasses up the bridge of his nose with long, slender fingers, then continued to ignore them.

The blonde boy frowned, folding his arms. "Well he doesn't like it anyway, so why can't I have it?"

Sasuke reached for the small brown packet that had gone unnoticed next to his juice until now. "Here," he said, handing it to the blonde kid without a second thought.

The look Naruto gave him would be better placed on a beggar who had just learned he was the only heir to a fortune. His eyes were comically wide, shining with what may have been tears of gratitude, shocked, awed and eternally thankful in one ridiculously exaggerated acceptance of the pudding cup. He tried to hide it, but Sasuke could tell the boy was bubbling with delight, tearing the lid from the cup without preamble and dipping his tongue in to scoop some out. Sasuke cringed, wondering why he was so excited. It was just pudding. One packet was maybe five ryou from the corner store.

Sasuke turned back to his lunch with disgust, trying to ignore the loud slurping coming from his right and moans of ecstasy (honestly, this kid was clearly a handful), and tried to muster his hunger. He knew if he didn't eat soon, it couldn't be healthy for him. When the blonde boy finished his pudding, he slapped the container down on the tabletop with a content sigh. Sasuke's brown muck wobbled at the impact then exuded an ominous stench. He pushed the tray as far as his short arms could reach.

"Hey, when lunch is over, you wanna play?" the boy asked, that same too-far-stretched smile that looking like it would crack his face in half. "I'll show you around and you can see my favourite part of the playground it's soooo cool! Trust me, I've been here as long as I can remember and I know all the best games, places and stuff we can do!"

The boy leaned towards him, eager hands bunched to keep still. Sasuke looked him up and down, taking in the cakes of dirt – had he ever bathed before? – the pudding around his mouth, and the innocence of his grin. Although Sasuke knew just by looking at him that the blonde boy was certainly not highest in the social ladder, and his parents definitely would not have approved of them associating, Sasuke could see that he was genuine. Besides, Sasuke didn't have any friends, and he was fairly miserable.

Still, he was reluctant. Not because the kid was unhygienic. Sasuke wasn't really in the playing mood. He felt much, much older than he had a fortnight ago, and more tired. Like an adult. He wondered if there really was an age someone becomes an adult, or if adulthood only took place when life showed you its true, despairing colours. Sasuke had always noticed how tired adults were, especially his father, and couldn't understand it before. He used to be full of energy and imagination, unafraid to sleep. Plenty of life and time to live and waste. Now, Sasuke knew it was a fragile thing, and playing seemed wasteful.

But then there was the gleam of hope in the boy's eyes. Like he'd never played in his life. Sasuke sighed, his decision made. Even if he couldn't make himself eat, he could at least make himself try to have some fun.

Letting out a long breath, Sasuke nodded. "Sure."

The kid beamed.

"By the way," the blonde said, wiping his mouth on the hem of his dirty black shirt, "my name's Naruto. You better remember it, 'cos—"

Before he could finish, something brown and smelly exploded on the back of his head, spraying chunks over his neck and splattering droplets on Sasuke's hand.

"Yuck!" Sasuke growled, yanking away his hand and looking for something to wipe it with.

He looked back at Naruto, whose eyes were wide and head down, reaching slowly to wipe some of the goo from his hair and bringing the dirtied hand to his face. Snarling, he wiped it across the front of his shirt and spun around, coming face to face with three larger boys. The one in the middle held a plate of today's lunch in the crook of his elbow. The three approached them cockily. Sasuke eyed the bowl of mush, glancing at the mess on Naruto's head, unsure what to do. The boy on Sasuke's left with the grey hair stopped playing with his food and watched.

The leader, so it seemed, walked past a seething Naruto to place the bowl on the table and directly addressed Sasuke. "Hey. What's your name?" the boy asked.

They were older than Sasuke, about the age of the grey-haired boy. Not wanting to end up like Naruto, he decided to comply. "Um… Sasuke."

The other boys nodded, eyeing him strangely. "Cool," said the leader. "I'm Yusuke, and this is Hiroki and Kana."

He gestured to the other boys in turn, who nodded back. Sasuke tried to smile at them, but failed. He glanced at Naruto, whose expression was sullen, in a resigned sort of way. Like he knew this would happen. Sasuke frowned.

"So what do you want?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"We wanted to ask if you'd like to hang out with us for a while. We'll show you the ropes, and whatever," Hiroki said, chewing on a toothpick and rolling it between his teeth. Sasuke assumed this was meant to be cool.

"Actually, I—" he began, cut off by Kana opening his jacket to reveal a plastic zip-lock bag. Inside was a large wad of grass. Sasuke blinked at him.

"We have funner things to do," he said, before quickly closing his jacket again.

"Um…" Sasuke was confused, but didn't let it show. "Well I don't really see how mowing the lawn is any fun."

The three boys paused, before laughing curtly amongst themselves. Sasuke looked between them, hoping they weren't laughing at him.

When the laughter ceased, Yusuke placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're funny," he said. "Come on, let's go. I'll introduce you to the others."

Before he could protest, Sasuke felt himself being whisked away from the dining table, hands on his shoulders that urged him forwards. The boys formed a diamond around him, almost shielding his view of Naruto, who was walking away to the other side of the room with his head down, hands stuffed in pockets. Sasuke stopped in his tracks, and the others stopped, too. Looking at Naruto, so miserable, like this always happened, Sasuke felt a real emotion for the first time in two days.

"Sorry," Sasuke said loudly, so the blonde kid could hear, "I'm already playing with Naruto today."

The other boys looked taken aback, sharing a look. Yusuke dropped his hands from Sasuke's shoulders, muttering something about stupid kids who couldn't tell a good person from bad. Naruto turned to face him, that thunderstruck smile pulling his lips to the edges of his cheeks, eyes squinted as he ran towards Sasuke and hugged him. The boys stalked off, heading down a hall Sasuke wasn't familiar with, his head lolling back and forth with the ferocity of Naruto's hug. Sasuke realised then that Naruto hadn't been excited about getting free pudding before – he'd been happy that someone was treating him nicely. Once he'd pried the blonde kid off him and regained his composure, Sasuke let himself be pulled outside through a sliding door into the large expanse of backyard.

Sasuke had to admit, for a second-rate low-budget orphanage like this one, the yard was nice. The grass was wild and reached his elbows, untamed like the forests where adventures happened. A large playground with a jungle gym, sandbox and swing set, faded from years in the sun and rusting, had Sasuke remembering days where he went to the park with his family. Steering away from unpleasant memories, his eyes wandered towards the highlight of the entire yard; the biggest tree he had ever seen, canopy smouldering green and stretching over half the sky. The trunk was so thick it would take a ring of five children to reach around it, name carvings of previous residents littering the bark, some old and some fresh. Sasuke was drawn to it instantly, wide eyes travelling across every intricate branch and twisting root. There were so many crevices he could fit inside, so many ways to climb to the top.

His fingers brushed over the firm, patterned wood, feeling nostalgic. Since the Uchiha very much kept to themselves, on the rare occasions they did go to the park as a family, Sasuke had been encouraged not to play with kids that weren't fellow clansmen. If someone normal approached him and asked if he wanted to play, he was to decline and stay close to his Uchiha cousins. Since the playgrounds were always infested with townsfolk and lesser clans, the Uchihas had taken to tree climbing. It used to be one of Sasuke's favourite activities. Strangely, unlike when he usually remembered things about his family, Sasuke gave a watery smile. It was a very nice tree. He looked forward to climbing it.

Sasuke hadn't noticed, but Naruto had been rambling about a very complicated version of hide and seek for a few minutes now. "…have to spin around three times, then take the pile of dirt and throw it over your left shoulder. If you accidentally throw it over your right shoulder, or the dirt lands in water, or it hits one of the other players, then you have to knock on the slide six times and wait for someone to crawl under your legs so you're not stuck in the mud anymore. Do you get it?"

"Uh…" Sasuke scratched the back of his neck, looking at the drying substance in Naruto's hair with distaste. "I think before we do anything, you need to wash the back of your head."

"Hm?" Naruto blinked and ruffled his hardened hair, squawking as if he'd completely forgotten. "Oh, yeah right! I'll just use the garden hose. Actually can you spray me?"

Sasuke held the nuzzle up against Naruto's head for fifteen minutes before the crusty brown substance was soft enough to disentangle from his hair, and then it was another ten minutes just to wash it all into the grass. Naruto kept giggling and trying to avoid the spray, claiming it tickled, at one point wrenching the nozzle from Sasuke's hands and giving him a noogie with it. Sasuke squealed, and Naruto laughed, saying he sounded like a girl. Enraged, Sasuke had brandished a bucket lying not three feet away and filled it to the brim, chasing Naruto around the yard for another few minutes before dumping the whole thing over his head. Their playful waterfight soon evolved into something they both took very seriously, a competitive edge to their sprays, attacking one another with more precision. When they were out of breath, Sasuke called a truce and they decided nobody had won, since they'd never actually laid out any rules.

By the time Naruto's hair was clean, they were both soaked, and the cold winter air was biting at their skin. Shivering, they decided to go inside and dry off, Naruto leading the way to the linen cupboard where they helped themselves to some unraveling towels and drank cups of warm milk and honey – Naruto was an expert at using the microwave, and even though technically they weren't allowed in the kitchen, he told Sasuke he'd never been caught sneaking in and if they did they would just pretend they couldn't read the prohibition sign. It was a sound plan.

Soon enough, Sasuke and Naruto were back outside and climbing the massive tree. Naruto had never climbed before, and Sasuke needed to help lift him up on sturdy branches so he could gain footing. When they were high enough for Naruto to be scared they might fall, they sat side-by-side with their legs dangling above the untrimmed grass, a cup of deliciously warm milk in their hands. It was a wonder they hadn't spilled it everywhere. Naruto told Sasuke he was an excellent tree climber, and he modestly ducked his head.

There was silence between them for a while. Sasuke could tell Naruto wasn't used to spending time with people. Naruto had no social etiquette and asked personal questions, like how his parents died, whether or not his mother was pretty, and which one of his deceased cousins he would marry if forced to. Sasuke chose to ignore him in those cases, because really, Naruto's good points outweighed the bad, and even though he was unbelievably more annoying than Sasuke initially anticipated, he made up for it with his optimism and kindness.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you," Naruto said abruptly, drawing Sasuke from his thoughts. "I want you to know, that my name is Naruto Uzumaki."

Sasuke gave him a strange look. "That's, uh, a very nice name, but you already told me that."

Naruto grinned. "Thanks! Nobody's ever said that before! Just so you know, I'm gonna be Hokage someday, so remember that name."

He dropped it in so casually Sasuke expected he was joking. With a sidelong glance at his stony, determined expression, Sasuke realised he was completely serious. _This_ guy? Hokage? Sasuke almost laughed, covering his snort with a small cough. If a dirty, loud idiot like Naruto ever became Hokage, Konoha would surely go to hell, he thought. Still, there was no point crushing this kid's dream so early on. Sasuke nodded, finishing the last of his milk with a sigh.

"Naruto Uzumaki. Got it."

A beat passed before Naruto jumped with the realisation of something. "Oh! What's your name?" he asked.

Only then did Sasuke register they'd spent half the day together without ever being properly introduced. He almost laughed. He saw the look of complete happiness on Naruto's face, knowing it didn't matter at this point, anyway. They were already friends.

"I'm Sasuke," he answered, fingers running over the mug's rim. Naruto repeated the name several times under his breath, nodding his head. Sasuke couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, I have an idea," said Naruto. Sasuke looked askance at him as he rummaged a hand in his pocket, withdrawing a flat rock with one sharp point. "Let's carve our names into the tree!"

Sasuke looked at the rock blankly. "Why?"

"For fun, duh!" He rubbed the rock between his hands, the evening drawing closer and bringing with it nighttime's cold. "Everybody's done it, except whenever I try to they won't let me or someone crosses it out. But since we're up here, nobody will know, and it can be a secret. Cool, right?"

Sasuke remembered all the initials and dates scrawled into the base of the tree trunk, recalling that he had indeed seen several of them crossed out. How stupid.

"…Okay."

Naruto's ever-present smile got that much wider. He shuffled along the branch, very carefully so as not to fall, until he was close enough to the main trunk. His pudgy fingers gripped the rock and pressed into the bark firmly, digging deep. Sasuke could tell Naruto was being slow so as to maintain the utmost precision, carving his initials and then passing the rock over. Sasuke shuffled as Naruto had, reaching over the boy's shoulder to write himself in. He finished the 's' and paused, hesitating with the 'u'. He hadn't referred to himself as Sasuke Uchiha since it happened.

"What's the matter? Forgot your own name?" Naruto asked impatiently.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and etched the final initial, leaning back and handing him the rock. Naruto stared at their initials, a strange look on his face.

"Hey, we both have the same last initial," he said quietly.

"We do," Sasuke agreed.

"…Kinda like brothers would or something, haha!"

Sasuke cringed. "But that doesn't mean anything. Lots of people have the same initials," he muttered darkly.

Naruto looked at him, his smile pinched. "Yeah…"

The silence returned.

-x-

_ thanks for reviews, ya'll speak to me_


	3. Sasuke Goes to his Room

CHAPTER 3

In the evening, after he and Naruto talked for almost three hours outside (as well as a failed attempt at playing his overcomplicated version of hide-and-seek), the housemother came to collect them with a gruff command to come eat dinner and get into bed before nine. Sasuke realised, as he kicked stones and waded through grass to enter the house, he hadn't thought about his family once since they signed their initials in the tree. He paused with the thought, feeling mildly guilty, and also a bit relieved. Guilty that he'd so readily pushed them out of his mind, and relieved that he'd been given a break. Naruto had a special power that made you focus all your attention on him, with his bright orange pants, blinding grin and endless positivity. If Sasuke was good for Naruto as his only friend, then Naruto was equally good for Sasuke as an escape from his grief.

When they finished eating – or rather, recoiling in disgust – the housemother showed Sasuke to his room and told Naruto to go take a bath. He looked panicked at the suggestion, something that confused Sasuke greatly, and when she turned her back he scampered in the opposite direction with a quick flash of a smile over his shoulder. Then, he disappeared into the darkness of the hall. Sasuke remembered what Naruto had said about knowing this place better than anyone, thinking he probably knew all the hiding places better, too.

Sasuke's room was third down the hall on the eastern side of the house. Apparently, the girls slept in the west, but Sasuke hadn't seen any girls aside from the few who had been coughing and choking on smoky sticks in the bathrooms.

"Here," the busty woman (whose name he still didn't know) said, shoving some sloppily folded pajamas and a new toothbrush into Sasuke's arms. The flimsy clothes looked like orphans had used them since the first shinobi war, a hole in one of the sleeves under the armpit and behind the knees. "Brush your teeth, go to bed. If you make too much noise you're sleepin' outside."

Sasuke nodded grimly. He doubted she was serious, but it was enough to scare him.

The woman sniffed before readjusting her waistband and hobbling back towards the lounge room, where a television was humming softly. Every step she took made the planks beneath her feet groan. He wondered how much longer they could take the pressure. Sasuke waited until she was out of sight to turn around and blindly guess his way towards the bathroom, which ended up being at the end of the hall. He walked into the room and almost gagged.

It was filthy. The floor was caked with dirt and grime, some of it brittle and some of it sticky under his bare feet. He walked on his toes, taking one look inside the slimy, moulded bath and deciding he'd rather smell. Naruto's desire not to clean made much more sense after he saw the murky brown water that erupted from the tap – it was better to be dirty than risk catching some sort of disease. There were three bathroom stalls, one occupied. As he passed, Sasuke could hear snickering and drowsy, nonsensical musings amidst the smoke that rose in billowing puffs. He accidentally breathed some in and almost choked, blinking away the water that formed in his eyes.

Pinching his nose against the smoke, he crept past the door sitting slightly ajar where a few boys and girls sat giggling and coughing, approaching the farthest sink with the cleanest mirror and basin. Sasuke was too short to see himself, but it was preferable. He went to brush his teeth, only to find he had no toothpaste. He opened every cupboard, got on his knees to search under benches and pipes, sullied his clothes with the creamy dirt smeared between the tiles, but there was none. He considered asking the kids squished inside the toilet stall if they knew where to find it, but decided that was unwise. It was better to brush his teeth with plain water. Initially that water was suspicious-looking, but after he let it run for a while it started to clear up.

Halfway through, Sasuke had to stop just to swallow the lump in his throat and stare at his hands. Back at home, in the shared bathroom, there was always toothpaste. His father was obsessed with dental hygiene, thought it was of utmost importance. If Sasuke ever forgot to brush his teeth, his father always seemed to know, somehow. He sternly reminded him and made Sasuke feel grimy for having forgotten. Sasuke wondered if his father still thought having clean teeth mattered now that he was dead.

Wiping at his eyes, Sasuke spat and rinsed his toothbrush before making haste back to the third room in the hallway. He could hear hushed whispers coming from inside, so that meant he had roommates. His eyes were slightly red, and Sasuke hoped his new roomies wouldn't notice in the darkness of the candle-lit hall. Meekly, he knocked on the door.

The whispering lulled, followed by the sound of soft cotton-covered footsteps padding across the floor. Sasuke straightened, not wanting to seem fragile and bully-able by whoever he shared his space with, blinking when the door swung open to reveal a person he didn't recognise.

"Um, hi," said Sasuke to the pale face framed with jet-black hair. For a moment, he thought he was looking at an Uchiha, but a tremble of his heart reminded him that was impossible. Sasuke closed his eyes to calm himself, not wanting to break down in front of what would be his roommate indefinitely.

The boy, who looked like a male version of Snow White with his frosty skin, dusted pink lips and big doe eyes, contrasted his princess look with a nasty, aggressive snarl. Sasuke unwittingly took a step back, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. The boy looked him up and down once and was about to slam the door shut, when someone's voice rang from inside.

"Let him in, Sai," the voice said. Sai's shoulders stiffened and he glowered at Sasuke with pure, unadulterated hatred before turning on his heels and stalking into the dim room. Sasuke, eyes wide and guarded, hesitated before entering with tentative steps.

The room was very small, cramped and stuffy. A sole window lay hidden behind mounds of unwashed clothes and books piled haphazardly atop a desk, sandwiched between two bunk beds. It smelled like sweat and old food, something spicy and ferociously aromatic wafting up from under the piles of clothes. Hanging from the doorknob was a sign that said 'do not disturb', but the dust suggested it had been hanging uselessly on the inside for a while. Other than a trifling strip of space between the beds, there was no room to move around. And amongst the piles of filth, miasma and useless items, sitting high on the top right bunk bed with his sheets strewn unmade around him like a fortress, was the grey haired boy from earlier that day. Underneath him was a stranger, and on the bottom bunk of the other beds was Sai, face down in his pillow while his fingers played idly with a sketcher's pencil. Sasuke looked at the mess, then the boys, feeling out of place.

It took a moment for the grey-haired boy, leaning comfortably against piles of stacked pillows and blankets with his head reclined and eyes shut, to say anything.

"So you're Sasuke," he said plainly.

Blinking up at him, he nodded. "Yes."

"Well I'm Kabuto," he told him, cracking an eye from underneath shiny, rounded glasses. "Below me is Shin. That brooding kid over there is Sai. Parents died early this year, so he's still going through the seven stages of grief. I think right now he's going through the 'pain in the ass' stage."

Sai gave Kabuto the finger without looking up. Kabuto clearly didn't care, and neither did Shin, who was staring at Sasuke like he was a particularly unpleasant substance on the underside of his shoe.

"Nice to meet you," he tried, shifting uncomfortably.

"Your eyes are red," he noted. "You're not a smoker, are you?"

"Uh..." Sasuke self-consciously rubbed at his eyes. "No..."

"Good. Get changed and go to bed," Kabuto instructed, eyes closed again. "Nothing against you personally, but the old lady really will make you sleep outside. Naruto can tell you that for a fact."

Sasuke decided it was best to listen, looking around for some place he could remove his clothing without feeling awkward. There was none, not even a closet, so he crouched down by the foot of Sai's bunk bed and tried his best not to scuffle on the floor, twisting in all sorts of difficult positions. They were all boys, but Sasuke was very modest and getting dressed in front of others, even his parents at a young age, had always made him uncomfortable. Sasuke noticed he'd been wearing the same clothes for over a week now, somehow unable to care. When his shirt was off he flipped it over, admiring the Uchiha emblem etched between the shoulder blades. He was the only one that had the right to wear that symbol anymore, Sasuke thought. He was the only one that knew what it was worth.

He exchanged the grungy black outfit for the surprisingly comfortable grey pajamas, bundling his dirty clothes up and tossing them onto his bed, which would evidently be the bunk above Sai. Sasuke didn't want his clothes getting mixed up with everyone else's. He didn't want anybody who wasn't Uchiha to wash or even touch them. He didn't want them being tainted.

Slowly, Sasuke ascended the ladder to his bunk, doing his best to ignore the eyes he felt Shin boring into his back. Shin and Sai appeared to be on good terms, maybe, if the occasional blank, meaningless looks they shared were any indication. At least Sai wasn't glaring at Shin like he was at Kabuto and Sasuke. Kabuto didn't seem to mind, in fact gave the impression nothing at all in the world concerned him. Sasuke wasn't sure how he was going to get along with any one of them, opting to follow Kabuto's example and lie down to try and sleep.

Sasuke knew he couldn't, though.

He pulled the pre-made covers up to his chin, laid his head on the pillow (not as nice as home, better than the hospital), and waited. He tried to remember his mother tucking him into bed at night, making sure the blankets came high enough and smoothing her hands down his scalp. It was the nicest feeling, having someone play with your hair and draw on your skin. She used to do it every single night, until he drifted off to sleep. Sasuke wondered how she had the patience to sit there silently and lull him away like that. Sasuke knew that was love. Nobody loved him enough to do that anymore.

After struggling to sleep each night for over a week, Sasuke was considerably less frustrated than he had been at the beginning. In a way, being unable to sleep soundly was a blessing. There were no dreams, no memories of Itachi's Tsukiyomi, no faceless Uchihas screaming into pools of their own blood stretched across the compound like a layer of mildew in the morning, no missing his mother's kisses, soft voice, flowing hair, the most beautiful mother he'd ever seen definitely, no woman would ever compare, his father's stern face when he did something wrong, the reserved smile when he did something right, knowing praise he wasn't meant to hear meant so much more, a family…

Hours passed in an instant. Sasuke's mind swam with little things he'd taken for granted before, what he'd never have again, and what could have been. Maybe time was moving slower. Sometimes he thought it was almost morning, others it felt like he'd only been lying awake for five minutes. There was no point trying to understand something like time during grief. Time doesn't exist; it left him alone for a while and went to bother someone else until he felt a bit better. Would he ever get better, Sasuke wondered? It seemed impossible. How could the death of everyone he'd ever loved get better? How could something that felt so strong and unshakeable in his heart lose its sting? It couldn't. If time healed all wounds, then it made sense that time had abandoned Sasuke, because there was no way this could ever get better. Time meant nothing.

Sasuke's eyes flew open when he heard something, but he didn't move. The other bunk bed creaked under the weight of movement, and a young voice spoke.

"Did you hear they took two more this morning?" the one under Kabuto, Shin, asked quietly.

"Manabu and Yoshio," Kabuto replied grimly, bitterness lacing his tone. Neither of them sounded as if they had been sleeping.

"They've been taking more recently," Shin said. "And they've been coming back quicker, too."

"Figures," said Kabuto. "They take anyone who might make a good shinobi someday. Like we're not worthy enough to go to their fancy orphanage because we'll probably never amount to anything, anyway."

"Sure we will," Shin said brightly, sounding as if he were more trying to convince himself. "Who knows? Maybe one of them will recommend us."

"Not likely," Kabuto said, and there followed a long silence. Sasuke's mind started to wander again when the younger voice jerked him back into listening.

"If you hate it here so much, why don't you start independent living? You're old enough, have been for two years. When _I_ turn ten, I'm going to start independent living. You can leave this place behind for good and start an apprenticeship or something. Live in your own apartment. Buy you own food and clothes, don't have to share space with anyone…"

Shin trailed off, waiting for Kabuto's response. There was a sigh somewhere in the darkness, and the groans of aged wood.

"I guess, but… I know it's foolish of me, but if I stay, there's still a chance they might pick me for their special orphanage and I can become a great shinobi, just like my parents. If I start independent living, the only way to do that is the academy, and they've set it up so that anyone living independently is two years behind everyone else. It's just… I dunno."

"Yeah," said Shin, blanket rustling. He yawned. "Yeah, I know."

There was no more conversation after that. Sasuke tried to contemplate their words, finding himself drowned in unexpected sleep.


	4. Sasuke Goes Where He's Taken

CHAPTER 4

The next morning – was it even morning? It was still dark outside – Sasuke was woken by someone roughly jostling his shoulder.

His eyes fluttered to half-mast. The hand shoved him three more times and he groaned, burying his head in the pillow. He didn't want to wake up yet. It was hard enough to get to sleep, he needed more.

"Get up," a voice commanded. "Come on, kid, hurry."

The unfamiliar voice gave him pause. Sasuke rolled over to the edge of the bed, his arms stretching and cracking his back, elbows and neck. He yawned loudly, the bed creaked, and the person's hand shook him harder. Sasuke grunted his disapproval, pushing the hand away as he tiredly sat up.

"What's it…" he mumbled, eyes still clamped shut.

"Sasuke Uchiha, please come along quietly."

Sasuke felt drowsy unease in the pit of his stomach. He peeked his eye open, wondering if this was a dream, met with the bright white of an ANBU mask, the only thing not shrouded in darkness, as if floating in mid-air. He blinked several times, mind disorderly with sleep.

"Huh?" he asked, looking around. Kabuto was still asleep, but as his eyes adjusted in the dark, he saw the crumpled, vacant beds where Shin and Sai should have been. "Is there a fire?" he asked, panicked.

"No," the ANBU said patiently, arms folded. "Your other roommates are in the entrance hall. Please do not keep them waiting."

"Waiting? But…" Sasuke scratched his head. "Should we get Kabuto?"

"No," she replied.

Sasuke sat on the edge of the bed, head beginning to slump. The ANBU sighed, nudging him towards the ladder. Too sleepy to protest, he crawled to the end of the bed and climbed down, feet landing softly on the cold floor. Standing firmly behind him, the ANBU pushed him towards the open door, and Sasuke padded along without complaint. He heard the door click shut softly behind them, halfway down the hall before his mind began to wake up.

"Where are we going?" he asked, voice less slurred, eyelids lighter. "What time is it? How come you're here?"

"Do not be alarmed," the ANBU said soothingly, placing her hands on his shoulders to keep him moving. Sasuke felt something warm and comforting pulse through his body, his surroundings glazing over. The dim candlelight adopted a shimmering halo and things grew less precise. The unease swirling in his stomach was washed away with each wave of warmth, and he sighed.

The woman shepherded him into the entrance hall, where Shin and Sai sat on their knees in the presence of a hooded figure. The housemother stood to the side, her eyes filled with sorrow. Sasuke thought it was strange, because he really didn't feel anything wrong with this situation with the warmth flooding through him. The ANBU pushed him to his knees beside Shin, who didn't even blink.

The moment the ANBU's hands left his shoulders, Sasuke felt like he was jolted awake. The unease returned, and looking at the hooded figure, he felt fear prickling alongside it. There was so much sudden awareness and confusion, like being woken from a realistic nightmare. He glanced at the housemother, her hands wringing hard enough to crack knuckles. She was doing nothing to stop this, but clearly it bothered her.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked, voice croaky.

"Don't worry," Sai whispered from the corner of his mouth, head staring straight forward. Sasuke looked at him in surprise. It was the first time he'd spoken to him. "They're taking us there. To the special orphanage."

Sasuke looked at the two ANBU flanking the cloaked figure's sides, remembering the conversation he overheard between Kabuto and Shin. Right now, the two boys were doing their best to cover their excitement, fingers twitching in their laps. Sasuke grew considerably more relaxed knowing the others were okay with this. The fancy orphanage must have been very small, reserved for those with superior bloodlines and potential. That's what Kabuto and Shin said, right? They choose people who will make good ninja. Did that mean Sasuke was still heading down the shinobi path? In that case, he was fine with it.

What he didn't understand was why they needed ANBU around, or why they had been gathered in the middle of the night.

The hooded figure coughed, drawing Sasuke from his thoughts. The housemother grimaced. Like some kind of stock character villain, the figure raised his hands to the hood of his cloak and, in a marginally suspenseful gesture, peeled back the fabric to reveal a strikingly familiar bandaged old man. Sasuke's large eyes blinked in the sight of the one who brought him here – Danzo.

"How can you be back already?" the housemother asked, fingers tangling in the front of her apron. Danzo's eye was half-lidded with disinterest. "Just yesterday you took one more. Now you're taking three? Just what are you forcing these children into? Why so many?"

Thumb running over the scar on his chin, Danzo answered in a low tone. "It would be unwise to delve into this discussion in front of the children. Wouldn't you agree, Megumi?"

She grunted, glancing to the doe-eyed questioning looks of three clueless orphan boys. "You think you can do what you please because your money provides a little food and hot water. The Hokage wouldn't stand for this… why do they have to be orphaned children? Why can't you—"

"Enough." Though quiet, Danzo's voice was commanding. Megumi, apparently the housemother's name, snapped her mouth shut with an audible click. "It is you who accepts the money in exchange. Everything we do is for the benefit of Konoha. These children are in good hands and will be well equipped for what the future holds."

Sasuke wasn't sure what they were talking about. The more he looked at Danzo, the more his excitement at going to a nicer orphanage ebbed into caution. There was something off. Something about the vacant stare, that same something that had niggled in the back of Sasuke's mind when he first met Danzo in the hospital, the stillness of midnight and the ANBU with their spines ramrod straight. What do you call that thing? A hunch? Instinct?

"…At the moment, this orphanage cannot function without proper funding," the housemother said resignedly. "However, without children in need of our care, money means nothing. Ever since you sought Nonou's help, it seems there have been more and more children accompanying you to your _special_ orphanage. You cannot make such frequent visits. As a hidden shinobi village, Konoha children are orphaned regularly, but that doesn't mean you are free to swoop in whenever you like!"

The two ANBU didn't respond to her bristling tone, and Danzo merely allowed a flicker of amusement to pass through his eyes. Sasuke swallowed.

"Of course," the man agreed cordially. "Like I said, this is for the good of the village. Inconveniencing good citizens such as yourself is the last thing we aim to do."

Sasuke wondered who 'we' was exactly. For the first time, Danzo broke his steady gaze to look towards the shadowed hallway. Sasuke craned his neck to see a glimmer of silver hair just disappear out of sight.

"Come out, young man," Danzo ordered gently. There was hesitation, Kabuto's shiny glasses reflecting the dim candlelight, before he straightened and approached the low table at which Danzo sat.

Kabuto put on a brave face, expression resolute. Even with rumpled bedhead, old pajamas and his hastily donned crooked glasses, you could see the determination and wouldn't question it.

"I want to come, too," he said, voice unwavering.

"Kabuto!" the housemother said warningly. Shin and Sai exchanged enthusiastic looks.

Danzo very slowly raked his eyes over Kabuto's lanky frame, taking in the thin layer of muscle, scrawny, not very promising kid. Their eyes met. "Oh? And what can you do?"

"I – I can use a bit of medical ninjutsu," he stammered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose nervously. The eyes bored into him sharper than a kunai, and Megumi was silently pleading. He ignored her. "When Nonou was still our housemother, she taught me. I helped heal shinobi during the war as a kid."

Danzo raised an eyebrow, the first real expression of anything Sasuke had seen him make. "I see," he said. "Very well. If you are certain you are capable, you may embark on the path of a shinobi."

Sasuke thought it was unfair Kabuto got a choice and he didn't, but the thought was quickly thrust from his mind. He didn't have many options here. Besides, Sasuke didn't want to stay in this orphanage so long that he was behind everyone else at the academy and never amounted to anything. It was his duty to defeat Itachi, restore the clan and cleanse the Uchiha name. How could he do that stuck in a dingy old shack in the slums of Konoha with no financial support or mentor to guide him? This was an opportunity for Sasuke to get his life back on track, achieve his goals, and hopefully find a way to move on. Gradually, Sasuke felt himself bubbling with excitement, too.

Kabuto nodded fiercely in response, and Danzo had that vaguely amused glint in his eye that could almost make you shiver. As long as his mentor wasn't Danzo, Sasuke was sure everything would be fine.

-x-

He was in hell. A genjutsu. Some form of torture. A nightmare.

Razors rolled against his temples and pulsated thick chakra into his brain, mouth and collarbone. His eyes were wide and unseeing, mouth parted in a silent scream as he was pumped full of enormous, unbearable chakra. The chakra writhed inside his brain, with each passing second he felt less like he was alive. He was only conscious for a minute before someone cursed and injected his bicep with a clear solution, and seconds passed before Sasuke was lost in darkness.

-x-

_an: I'm not even really sure what I'm writing._


	5. Sasuke Goes to his End

CHAPTER 5

_Thanking for reviews._

-x-

Somewhere inside Sasuke knew he was dead.

He woke in a foreign room, which more resembled a cell than anything. Bleary-eyed, he blinked at each individual aspect of the room with unthinking, unfeeling acceptance. A bed he lay recumbent within. Carvings like thin twigs and branches in the walls. Metal bars closing off the small space from a much larger space beyond. A single toilet. Meal tray. Nothing more. The world was pure silver.

Finding himself in this alien room did not bother Sasuke. It didn't feel right, either. It felt nothing.

The only thing Sasuke could feel was his head throbbing and his grainy, raw throat. His tongue was particularly sore, though he couldn't imagine why. He knew that he should be panicked to be here, and he was – some semblance of himself, distant and obscure, a place in his mind that felt detached, unreal and vague. Sasuke sat up on the edge of his bed as if controlled by strings, muscles telling him this was what he needed to do. He obeyed.

A loud buzzing noise reverberated through the metal bars of his cell, echoing further down the dark, indistinct expanse of mystery that loomed beyond. Sasuke watched as the cell door rattled open, and he stood, as if called. Walking forward, his feet felt heavy and unused, blood rushing to the ground and making him dizzy. Still, Sasuke didn't falter, walking forward until he was standing just outside of the small cell. His peripherals indicated that flanking both his sides were long lines of other children who had just exited their cells, too, but he had no desire to turn and face them, no curiosity or need to ask what was going on. He looked straight ahead, then made a sharp right turn. The others followed suit. Sasuke wondered if they were copying him, or if this was rehearsed.

Somehow, Sasuke felt he'd done this before. As if he'd slept for years and his body went on without the mind, going through these fluid movements independently. The line of children soldiered forward with practiced grace toward the center of the room. A very familiar man stood to greet them, patient as they arranged themselves into evenly spaced rows and stood to absolute attention. Sasuke looked up at the man, arms by his side, cold like a machine. It was like gravity had pulled them here, and Sasuke's tongue burned. Why did it burn?

He recognised this man. It was the same man from the hospital and the orphanage, Danzo.

"First and foremost, allow me to tell you who you are," the man began, his visible eye washing over the rows of children, unreadable.

_Who I am?_

The concept didn't make sense, yet there was a prickle of indignation in the back of his mind that made Sasuke's tongue sting enough for him to hiss. It burned for a few more seconds before ebbing into a faint itch.

"You are nobody," Danzo continued, voice thunderous in the still silence. "Do not assume you are anybody. You have no right to individuality. Your first course of action as a member of Root it to rid yourself of any notion of identity."

There was silence. No uproar, no objections. Simple tolerance. Something in the back of Sasuke's mind proposed this was inexcusable, and he was confused. The itching of his tongue developed into an ache, distracting him from his thoughts. Had he burned his tongue on something? Sasuke rubbed it against the roof of his mouth. He considered Danzo's words.

He was not Sasuke; he was nobody.

"You do not remember the past two weeks," Danzo said simply. "This is because during that time, you were all being prepared for what is to come. Each and every one of you has been reconditioned to have no personality and be entirely loyal to me, your leader. You, as a whole, are the next batch of Root shinobi. If this disturbs you in any way, please raise your hand."

More silence, yet Sasuke couldn't even hear his own heartbeat. Strangely, even though Sasuke could feel something objecting to all of this, there was some sort of jitteriness in his stomach that told him not to raise his hand and come forward with this information. Sasuke wondered why, as Danzo had just told them he was their leader. As Sasuke's leader, he should know what to do about it, shouldn't he?

Sensing hesitation in the boy two rows ahead of him, Sasuke was drawn from his thoughts. Danzo seemed to notice, too. The man clicked his fingers, and within an instant there were two masked shinobi on either side of the boy. He gasped as one of the ANBU held down his arms, while the other injected him with a translucent gel. The boy's body went from tense to completely lax, and he fell into their waiting arms. The pair nodded to Danzo before disappearing in a puff of smoke, taking the unconscious boy with them. Sasuke felt nothing of this encounter and returned his attention to their leader.

"Good," Danzo said quietly. "As for the rest of you, training begins immediately."

-x-

The training grounds were sloshed with mud. It clung to him with its earthy smell. Whatever Sasuke had smelt like before, it was superceded by the musk of dirt now. Blood crusted on the obstacles, around the kunai they supplied him with and under his fingernails – who knew whose blood was whose?

They practised on dummies and each other. Seven year olds to thirteen, eyes dull and glazed over. Everyone was an orphan. Danzo had told them early on that they had nowhere else to go, and nobody was looking for them. They had nothing to lose and nothing more to do with themselves. Their only reason for living was to fight, and they did.

There were scheduled fields of training to cover every day: they started with deadly assassinations on dummies, continued with concealing their chakras and operating silently, moved on to taijutsu which they practiced on one another, and finished with advanced weapon manipulation. The day started when the sun rose and finished at sunset. Meals were rushed; if you couldn't scoff everything in five minutes, then you had to fight on an empty stomach. Sasuke learned to inhale his food and didn't bother to savour taste. Food was for nourishment. He ate and worked; there was no time for questions or socialising.

Danzo encouraged the children to suppress and ignore emotions. If ever a Root member began to feel something they didn't understand or recognise, he told them they needed immediate medical attention, and they were given shots. Sasuke contemplated receiving the shots numerous times, as the lingering feelings in the back of his mind seemed defective as a member of Root. But whenever he considered, it the voice vanished, and he found himself forgetting about it, engrossed in training.

He trained mindlessly, obstacle courses and targets a blur, kicks and punches he'd never known he was capable of. Sasuke knew a part of himself was missing – the human part. If he tried to remember the past, there was none; nothing but the memory of family that Danzo insisted was dead. There was more to it than that, he knew, but it was difficult to remember anything other than a dead clan and a traitorous brother that deep inside of him he despised - the rest was lost, lost time. Without identity, there was no self. There were weeks between the orphanage and now. Weeks where he learned to be this machine. Danzo said it was two, but Sasuke knew it was longer. Looking at everyone else, he could tell they'd lost time, too.

Days were training, and lots of it. Non-stop, he lived only to train. What for, he didn't know. He trained until he was certain he couldn't accomplish more, and then he did. There were no jutsu involved in their training, no chakra running through his veins. It had been closed off somewhere inside of him, stored for later. There was no chakra, but there was definitely something else – alien to him, present for unknown purposes. Sasuke didn't know why it was invading his body, but he knew that thing was what drove him and kept the voice in check. When his tongue burned, he could feel it stronger, flaring for attention. This thing was the difference between orphanage Sasuke and now Sasuke. He was confused, but there was never time to waste sorting things out.

He was nobody, and that was all.

-x-

One day, Sasuke woke up, and it was different. After months of the same, you noticed when it was different. The door still buzzed and his cell still opened. His body moved without preamble. When Sasuke lined up with the other kids that morning, he knew they could feel the difference, too. It was something in the air. Something invisible, breathing down their necks. There was comfort in the same. Even though everyone was confused about their lost time, knowing you weren't alone and you had something to do was enough to drive these people with nothing else. Now, it was different, and that almost scared Sasuke.

_Go back in your cell_, the voice said drowsily, as if just waking. The voice had formed into a stronger consciousness by now, and every so often, Sasuke could feel it forming real thoughts in his mind and not just inarticulate notions. If he did go back in his cell, though, then Danzo would notice something was wrong with him, and he'd have to get injected.

The children walked in a long line, as they always did, into the center of the room. Sasuke stood where he always did, evenly spaced between people whose faces he'd never cared to recognise. It was all the same, but different. Something was definitely different here.

Danzo was already standing before them, tall enough to be seen without a pedestal. There was nothing different about Danzo himself, although his expression was odd. Expectant, foreboding, something the man knew that everyone else didn't. Sasuke's palms were sweaty.

"Training will not be at the usual location today," Danzo informed everyone. Sasuke relaxed slightly. That must have been it. That was the difference." Instead, you will all congregate yourselves into respective age groups, starting with thirteen year olds at the front and progressing backwards in descending order."

Sasuke paused. How old was he? His body was eight. The children around him began moving accordingly and Sasuke stepped away from the herd, walking further to the back of the room. His age group was the second youngest. Sasuke inserted himself between a girl and a boy from in the eight-year-old throng and stood straight, unblinking, waiting for everyone to finish arranging themselves. He watched Danzo for any indication as to what was going on, but the man's eyes revealed nothing. The nine-year-olds were so tall that Sasuke had to look at him through a gap in their shoulders.

When the children were in order – Sasuke noticed each group had twelve people – Danzo spoke. "You will all be escorted by graduate Root members. When you arrive at your location, you will receive further instruction."

Graduates? Sasuke didn't know Root practised graduation. There had been no mention of this before. Two taller Root members with porcelain animal masks stood on each end of the eight-year-olds, and before long the lengthy succession of children were being marched blindly forward, towards what appeared to be a dark hallway.

The hallway was long. Turns were curt and few between. It was plain with no landmarks, like a maze. There was no way he could remember where he'd come from. Nowhere to run. Sasuke wondered how big Root must be to have a hallway this long. He'd never been anywhere but the training grounds and his cell, so he was unfamiliar with the floor plan and architecture. It was mostly more of the same, walls etched with the carvings of tree roots like in his cell, floor hardened cement that slapped under his sandals if he stomped too hard. Sasuke never stomped anymore, though – his posture and gait had been honed to the elegance and discipline of a true shinobi.

Nobody said a word. Their steps were in time and made a rhythmic beat. Strangely, all this disquieted the voice. It started off faint and twisted his stomach, but his sense of dread grew more and more by the second. He knew he shouldn't have a sense of anything, technically, as a member of Root, and that just made things worse.

After what felt like hours, they came to an abrupt stop. Sasuke's group, being near the end of the line, was too far from the front to see anything. He could hear the whir of something mechanical, a puff of air, and then the line continued to march forwards. Sasuke thought they might be going outside when the line halted a few seconds later.

"Entering – thirteen-year-old division!" a voice sounded.

There followed a loud slam, resonating through the narrow hallway and rumbling in Sasuke's bones. The girl in front if him jumped at the sound. Goosebumps rose on his skin. That was the sound of finality clicking into place. He knew something bad waited ahead, yet Sasuke stood firm, confident his training had prepared him for this. He wasn't sure what he was prepared for, why he was doing it, or where he even was. He just knew he could. Danzo was their leader, and he would not lead them into peril.

An eternity passed in complete silence before the mechanical whir sounded up again, and a different voice, this time a girl, shouted, "Entering – twelve-year-old division!"

There was the same slam, and he felt the same reaction stirring within his stomach and the voice's restless worry. It was getting closer. He was too short to see above the others, to know what approached. There was no backwards or forwards, only the small sandwich of space between girl in front and boy behind. All he could do was wait.

The blood in his veins had drained to his feet and he could feel it pumping, the same as when he was dragged around the shopping district with his mother, groaning and asking for things he didn't really need, throwing tantrums and laughing, eating yummy food and crying to go home. Mother had always been so patient, never once raising her voice. She was gentle; Sasuke couldn't believe before he was born Mikoto was a jounin. Then again, Itachi had seemed gentle, too—

Sasuke pushed the voice away. If he let the voice get carried away, it would fill him with the strangest and most unbearable feeling, guilt swirling in his stomach. The voice always whined about people Sasuke didn't remember. Got morose over his lack of control, angry at himself for not thinking about them in, what, six months now? What spell was he under to keep his emptiness all-consuming? His tongue, always pulsing faintly, erupted with full force and Sasuke almost choked. There was a fleeting moment of panic before Sasuke completely shut the voice out, and all thoughts of his family were replaced with placid nothing.

He was sure an entire day passed with him standing there before the nine-year-olds were to go in and Sasuke was close enough to see what he was making his way towards. Once he could, he found he preferred not knowing.

A large automated door, it seemed, with humming cogs and locks, complicated entities he didn't think necessary if this door led to something pleasant. It was sturdy, built to be impenetrable. He should have felt more than this. There should have been doubt, wonder, fear. And there was – consciousness, thoughts that suggested these feelings, but he felt nothing. Without the voice, his heart was sucked dry.

Knowing he was heading into whatever was behind that door made time pass much quicker. Before he was ready, the ANBU at the front of his line poured chakra into a seal on the door. It screeched as it opened, and Sasuke's nose was ravaged with a scent so sickeningly familiar it made him feel dizzy. Bile rose in his throat.

He remembered: the inside of the human body splattered across every front porch and window pane, screams so violent they should have woken up the entire village, yet nobody came to their rescue, nobody had cared that night. His grandmother, face far too pale, usually full of life, vim and vigor. Gone, lying lifeless beside her husband, death inhumane and purely for the sport. Barbaric, cruel, impossible, he still didn't believe it. It was still too cruel. Nobody was capable of such madness. Nobody was that disgusting. Where had their parents gone wrong, raising a monster? Who was to blame? Sasuke's eyelids grew heavy and flickering stars filled his vision. He was getting lightheaded.

The room smelled like death.

"Entering – eight-year-old division!" the ANBU yelled.

Sasuke felt himself pressed on all sides. There was nowhere else to go but in. He couldn't, he was stuck. He couldn't breathe. His lungs were burning, hot, wet, foreign tears running down his cheeks. Some impression of emotion stirred in his heart, fighting against the burn in his tongue before it finally broke free and Sasuke was completely overwhelmed. The emotionless drone was no longer controlling his body, pushing him aside and ignoring his protests, _Sasuke_ was back in control and it was awful. The closer he got to the door, to the smell of death, the more his tongue burned as if he was being branded. He brought his hands to his throat, hacking at the intense pressure. Someone pushed him forward and he shuffled on, eyes clinching shut. Sasuke knew everyone could see his suffering, but drones were controlling the others, too. They couldn't do anything about it.

He was pulled along in the current, knuckles white against his own neck, closer to the thick encumbrance of death. The pain in his mouth became unbearable – he could feel the drone, the fake Sasuke, fighting to regain control. His teeth clacked together, jaw tensing and releasing. So much tension.

The mechanical whirring was all he could hear. It filled his ears, pain filled his mouth. Existence outside of this pain was an ethereal dream. He tried to scream. He knew if he went into this room, something terrible that he would never overcome would happen. It couldn't be undone. Someone would die. _Sasuke would die._

He didn't want to die.

Sasuke let out a strangled cry, falling to his knees, restless with pain. Nobody came forward to help him. They started to feel it, too. One by one, Sasuke heard the others dropping to their knees and choking, mouths burning, as they felt the dread and force of burning inside of them, also. They were a row of writhing, screaming children. Sasuke couldn't open his eyes, but he knew Danzo was there, watching them. He was watching them squirm.

The pain ebbed slightly and Sasuke mustered the strength to crack open an eye. They were sprawled across the floor in a large room, dirt beneath their feet and metal walls encompassing them on all sides. The ceiling was so bright with spotlights Sasuke's watery eyes shied away from them, and trees dotted the clearing. It looked like a medium-size training ground, like the ones they'd been frequenting ever since training began, ever since he was whisked from the orphanage (which didn't seem so bad now) and he'd lost time, since he didn't know why he was training but did it anyway. The only difference in this room was the copious amounts of blood.

It was everywhere. The forest leaves dripped with it, circling their roots like moats of crimson. Puddles, patches in the grass, pooling in the earth, muddy brownish-red, metallic and all-consuming, everywhere. The stench was fresh, rancid and made his stomach flip. Sasuke keeled over, feeling himself ready to throw up. He was going to throw up, it was too much. He'd seen blood everywhere before, once, so much of it – the pain in his tongue was overwhelming by now, so much so Sasuke was certain he'd pass out.

Sasuke was just about to try and claw out his own throat when the pain abruptly stopped. Gasping, he fell into a crumpled heap, hearing the others fall similarly with cries, wails of agony, relief and horror. Arms quaking, Sasuke tried to push himself up from the ground, getting on his hands and knees. The girl who had stood in front of him before was murmuring incoherently, and Sasuke tried to reach out and see if she was okay, but his arms were heavier than the weight in his chest.

"D-d-d… Dan… Danzo…" she said.

Sasuke used all his strength to look up. And surely, there Danzo was, standing not three meters away from them with that same expectant expression as earlier. He was entirely unmoved by the suffering of others. Sasuke felt it: severe, penetrating hatred boiling in his gut just looking at the man's level gaze. He'd felt this hatred before.

"That was quite a violent reaction," Danzo said, and Sasuke knew he was talking directly to him. "The most violent I've seen all day. It must be directly related to your clan's death, yes? I suppose the atmosphere is rather nostalgic."

Danzo kicked a nearby puddle of blood, splattering across Sasuke's neck and torso. It was warm.

Sasuke froze, gasping, unable to move. He could feel the heartbeat of a dead child in the smouldering red as it seeped into his bones. It dripped down his arm, tingled his skin and churned his stomach. He leaned over, unable to control it, the contents of his stomach erupting so violently from his throat the burning of his tongue paled in comparison. Gasps came in between each retch, choking him. No matter how much he gulped for air, he never managed to get enough. He tried to scrub away the flecks of blood on his skin but their sting only spread further, smearing into his eyes. He felt manic, scraping his fingernails over his cheeks to try and peel away the tainted skin. He needed it off. The blood had to come off. _It wouldn't get off_.

Sasuke heaved uncontrollably as Danzo continued on, inspecting the row of eight-year-olds one by one.

"Today is graduation day," Danzo said, his hands folded behind his back as he strolled at a lackadaisical pace. Sasuke couldn't even think, bending over to try and scrape the blood on him into the grass, burying his face in the dirt. Danzo was a faint, sinister echo. "Unfortunately, only one of you will be able to advance. In order to graduate into ANBU as a member of Root, you must be the victor in this final challenge."

Sasuke wiped at his mouth, head pulsing to the rhythm of his erratic heartbeat. His eyes felt heavy in his skull, like if he leant forward any more they'd dislocate and roll in the dirt. All prior energy he may have had was certainly gone now. He trembled; the blood might be gone but he could still feel it. There was no way he could participate in any challenge in this state. One look at the boy hunched over on himself to Sasuke's left told him the others were feeling similarly helpless.

"By partaking in this challenge, you will free yourself from human emotion."

Sasuke panted as the mania slowly subsided, leaving in its wake a fit of shivers, forcing himself to pay attention. What did he mean 'free' from emotion? All this time, Sasuke had been the one trapped somewhere deep inside himself, and his emotions were the only freeing thing left. They were his.

"Emotions bring hatred, which leads to war," Danzo said. "In eradicating emotions, we create the perfect shinobi: loyal, efficient and selfless. The winner of this challenge will become a sacrifice for the greater good – Konoha's safety."

The more Danzo spoke, the more Sasuke felt his dread multiply. Wherever this was going, it was going to end with bloodshed. He needed – Sasuke had to find a way out, or maybe he could pretend to be injured and they'd let him sit this out, or… or…

Danzo paused and looked them all over, a smile not even attempted to be hidden written in his features. "In order to graduate, you must be the last remaining survivor in an every man for himself death match."

He blinked. At first, Sasuke didn't understand. The words simply went unregistered. It was the girl beside him, who began hyperventilating and jumped to her feet, who ignited the realisation that slowly dawned on Sasuke in waves of anguish and disbelief.

"What do you mean death match?" the girl screamed, fisting her hair hard enough to pull out handfuls of strands. "What is happening? How come I'm here? I don't wanna do this, I don't wanna be in your evil group!"

"Refusing to kill will result in the eradication of you all," Danzo replied calmly, sending a chill down Sasuke's spine.

"What… does that mean you're going to kill us if we don't kill each other?" the girl whispered, her eyes frenzied as they darted in all directions. "No way! You can't make me!"

Without warning, the small girl turned and ran towards the metal door. She smashed her balled fists against it hard enough to break bones, unleashing a low string of curses and screams in quick bursts, kicking and frighteningly desperate. She was hysterical. Sasuke's eyes widened in fear.

"Let… me… out!" she wailed, and soon the other children began cracking around Sasuke like popcorn in the microwave, jumping up and screeching their high-pitched voices in defiance and outrage. Only Sasuke stayed on the ground, unable to move, watching the chaos unfold. Their voices melded into one unified cry. It buzzed in Sasuke's head, made his ears ring, a frantic hunger for life.

Something whistled through the air, so fast it could have been mistaken for a glint of sunlight had it not been for the squelch of flesh, followed by the young, distraught eight-year-old girl crunching into the metal door with enough force to crack open her skull. The silence was so unbelievably sudden. One moment they were on the brink of pandemonium, the next they were united in their fear as the girl lay lifeless, blood trickling from a pinprick wound where a senbon needle was embedded in the back of her neck. Sasuke's heart beat against his ribcage hard enough to bruise.

"You will be given as long as it takes," Danzo continued as if nothing had happened, hands hidden in the folds of his black silk kimono. He knew they were listening now. "The seals suppressing your emotions have been released for the duration of this exam. The remaining child will become a member of Root and undertake missions for the sake of the village. The missions will be arduous, degrading and full of bloodshed, so anyone who objects to this should simply allow themselves to be killed."

Sasuke couldn't tear his eyes away from the girl. In a second, she had gone from life to death. One moment she could talk, the next she was empty. Like an object. Person to human flesh, nothing more. His breath came in shuddering pants.

"Your weapon holsters are full for convenience. Remember, even if you can't see me, I can always see you. If you are refusing to participate, you will be obliterated. The exam begins immediately."

Danzo disappeared in a swirl of dancing leaves, his words echoing in his wake. If they didn't kill, they would be killed. Even if they won, their life wouldn't be theirs. It wasn't even existing, really, being an emotionless puppet receiving no recognition and risking your life for people who have never given you anything. That was what Danzo was saying.

And all Sasuke could think about was how he didn't want to die.

-x-

_ reviews please and thank_


	6. Sasuke Goes a bit Crazy

CHAPTER 6

There was no immediate movement, but the first flicker of hesitation ignited a fierce engulfment of hostility and carnage.

Sasuke still felt remotely impartial to the situation. He was still half robot, somehow, like he and the drone had switched places. It was still present, only dulled and sedated. There were two personalities inside him – one desperate, naïve and terrified, the other calm, capable and heartless. He preferred himself, but the calm entity was comforting. It promised to take care of him if things got difficult. It promised to get him out of this alive. He wondered if the others felt theirs too, or if this was an advantage.

He almost slapped himself for thinking that. How could being an emotionless killer be an advantage? Sure, it would be easier to murder someone, but that wasn't something he wanted. He didn't desire an edge over the others. As much as Sasuke didn't want to die, he didn't want to kill anyone even more.

But it wasn't up to him. A girl, the one who had lead their group into this mess, inched her hand towards her weapon holster, the first to make a move. It was clear what she intended to do. Sasuke knew it was stupid to think that everyone would share his sentiments, that _everyone_ would value another's life over their own. He just hadn't thought that _everyone_ would rather kill than die.

Two boys leapt into the trees, bounding out of sight. Four brandished their weapons, attacking each other straight on. Sasuke marveled at their skill. The rest stood around Sasuke, paralysed – one cried, one shivered, one murmured incoherently, one was unresponsive. One fell to his knees and vomited. Sasuke examined them all, turning his attention to the four fighting it out. Seeing a knife slice through a young boy's throat, the life here and gone too quick, caused Sasuke to burst with adrenaline. It fuelled his legs and propelled him into the trees, running as fast as his legs could carry him. He needed to find a safe place, even if only to survey the others and shield himself from danger.

His two personae underwent an internal struggle. One fought for peace, voted that Sasuke let himself be killed so someone else can live. He couldn't be a killer. He couldn't be like Itachi. Itachi was the furthest from anything Sasuke ever wanted to be, but this would be taking one unspeakably mistaken step in his brother's direction. Nobody deserved to die, Sasuke told himself. Nobody had the right to take life from someone.

Sasuke found himself perched above the clearing. Three of the others were now gone, one of them joining in the fight. Another girl refused to move, her entire body trembling until one of the four fighters lodged a kunai straight through her right eye. Sasuke looked away, his breathing ragged.

That was a mistake. He only sensed the attack incoming from behind with seconds to spare, supporting his weight on a tree branch while his legs windmilled above him in a kick to his attacker's jaw. The boy's body went spiraling into a tree trunk. Sasuke's heart hammered in his ears, the adrenaline from before perking up to sustain him. He watched the boy swiftly recover from the attack, crouching twenty meters away with hardened eyes.

Sasuke honed in on his clearly dislocated jaw, jutting out obtrusively from underneath his cradling palm. Target acquired, Sasuke leapt from his branch with a kunai ready in his hands, aiming for the weak spot when he realised what he was doing. He was about to lodge a kunai into an eight-year-old boy.

He faltered, legs kicked out from under him by his attacker and sending him flying into the wide-open clearing. The four-way battle was over, three lying dead in pools of their own mixed blood. Sasuke's head span as he tried to regain his footing, warily keeping an eye out for the survivor of their match – the only person left who wasn't dead was the blonde girl who had first reached for her weapons. He didn't get a chance to prepare for a potential attack, however, as his first tree-hopping attacker sent a barrage of kunai flying towards him in a large span. Sasuke barely rolled out of the line of attack, having to roll again as it was followed by even more kunai.

Sasuke took note of where the attacks originated, and before he knew what he was doing, instinct thrust a gyrating shuriken into the trees and connected dead on with the target. A beat passed before the sound of cracking branches rang out in the quiet clearing, followed by a dull thump. The boy was dead.

Sasuke instantly felt regret swallow him. Even though he hadn't known the boy personally, even though the boy tried to kill him, it didn't matter. It was one thing when another person took someone's life – still wholly unacceptable, but that was something he could say without feeling guilty. This, however, this was him; him stealing a person's most precious possession. And there would be no repercussions for his actions, no trial. This boy would die and nobody would care. He was the tree that fell in the forest that didn't make a sound, simply because there was nobody there to hear him cry. And it was all Sasuke's fault.

Wobbling to his feet, Sasuke tottered forward only to stumble over the kunai rooted in the dirt. He fell onto his hands, gasping at the impact so hard his lungs hurt. This pain was nothing, though, compared to the pain of having taken a life. It was like he had torn into his own chest and latched onto his heart, squeezed, as hard as he could, and then used his fingernails to slash away a remnant of flesh and left it barely-beating with a chunk missing.

He heard someone scream and looked up, the scream too distant to indicate an immediate threat. Instead, what Sasuke saw was more dead children. Someone had given birth to those people, loved them, nurtured them, wished a wholesome and fulfilling life for them. Even if those loved ones were dead now, that didn't mean they weren't weeping for their fallen sons and daughters. Each of these people mattered to someone, no matter what Danzo said. Sasuke mattered to someone.

Sasuke tried to think how many people were left. There were twelve in the eight-year-old division, and of the two that had jumped away into the trees, one was probably alive. The girl who got crazy before it began was gone, also, and of the people in the four-way battle only the blonde girl remained. The children who had been unable to move initially were gone, save for the one girl who had been stabbed through the eye. Assuming that the scream from earlier indicated someone's death, that meant there were five people, including Sasuke.

Seven people who meant something to someone, gone.

Two children came into Sasuke's clearing at once, and the three glanced between each other. A beat passed, and they both seemed to come to simultaneous decision that taking out the kid crouched on the ground, crying, would be easiest first off. Sasuke wondered what he should do, their movements a blur. There was no time to think about this. Either he let himself die or he let himself live. And no matter how terrible he felt, there was one thing Sasuke wanted most, the same thing all these desperate children wanted. A revolting, primitive compulsion programmed into humans the day they first open their eyes and see the wonder and mystery that surrounds them. They want to stay in this world as long as they can. And even though not long ago Sasuke had willingly gone to end his life, it had been on impulse, and he came to regret it later. If he were to be completely honest with himself, Sasuke knew what he was going to do in this situation.

He was going to kill these children and live.

The adrenaline hit him full force, and Sasuke was on his feet twisting between their simultaneous attacks and watching as they missed and struck each other, a moment's recognition of their loss flashing in their eyes before they crumpled to the ground. Faintly, there was grunting and metal clashing on metal coming from behind him. Sasuke turned towards the sound, bursting forth into the thickets of trees.

He was upon them before they knew it, three of them in one place, attacking each other ruthlessly. Sasuke didn't blame them. They were just trying to survive, he was doing the same thing. This was nothing like Itachi, Sasuke told himself. Itachi killed because he wanted to be stronger, because he wanted to measure his abilities, and because he was heartless. Sasuke killed because that's what a normal human being would do in this situation, because he was programmed to do it, because he was scared and a child and didn't know what else to do. Even if they were both killers, he was nothing like his brother.

Still, Sasuke was reluctant to take full responsibility for his actions here. For the sake of his sanity, he loosened the reigns on his own consciousness and allowed the other thing to seep through. Instantly, he felt more restrained and capable. Looking at his opposition, he could see that there was fear and desperation in their attacks. If anything, the other thing was certainly an advantage strictly speaking from a survivalist point of view.

A brown-haired boy, short and clearly overpowered, was the first one down. Sasuke decided to jump into the fray while his killer stood panting, the same look of regret plastered on her face as what Sasuke had been feeling before. Better to put her out of her misery, he thought coldly, flipping onto her shoulders and using his momentum to reverse her hard onto her back. He pinned her to the ground, avoiding her eyes as he snapped her neck in one swift, painless movement. She didn't even have a chance to utter a sound, expression frozen permanently into one of surprise.

It was Sasuke's turn to be surprised next, two hands gripping his ankles and thrusting him into the air with surprising strength. There was no way he could land properly at this angle, so as the ground drew closer Sasuke tucked in his legs and rolled to a stop. Looking up, his final opponent had a nasty head wound, a deep gash above his right eye profuse with blood, dribbling down his cheek and trickling from his chin. One hand clutched at a second wound in his shoulder, and he was panting hard. That move had taken a lot out of him, it seemed.

Looking at all the blood made Sasuke feel woozy, and without meaning to Sasuke secluded himself deeper into the corners of his mind, granting the other thing equal control over his body. The second his attacker doubled over, coughing into his hand, the other thing had palmed a kunai and flung it directly between the boy's eyes. He fell to the ground with a strangled cry, face-first. Sasuke winced when he heard the boy's skull crack.

With a trembling sigh, Sasuke realised everyone was dead, and he was alive.

Just like last time.

Breathless, Sasuke allowed the other thing's emptiness to quell his sudden onslaught of grief and shame. He was disgusted, absolutely disgusted with himself. Yet the other half insisted it was necessary. Only half-feeling the realisation of what he'd just done made it a lot easier, and soon Sasuke found himself almost completely giving in to the other thing, wanting more of that pleasant emptiness that promised a life full of level-headed calm. Maybe Danzo was right, and emotions did only get in the way. Maybe Danzo was also the one who had just caused the death of eleven children, as well as many more before that, and would soon go through the entire process with an age group even younger than Sasuke after these bodies were cleared.

Each side of himself insisted that it was right. He wasn't sure which one was the real Sasuke at all – maybe there was a third Sasuke, the one that was confused and the two others that were doing all the talking. Sasuke didn't understand his own mind, his own feelings, himself. He'd just killed five people after swearing never to become like his brother. He valued life and he destroyed it. Everything conflicted with everything. He was just a kid. He was just a boy who missed his family. He was just a killer desperate for survival. He was just a mystery.

Sasuke stood alongside three dead bodies, head hung, shoulders hunched. They were fresh and young, eyes still coloured, cheeks still pink, faces twisted. He jumped at the sound of approaching footsteps, eyes slowly breaking away from the glassy-eyed corpses to look at a very pleased Danzo.

"Well done," the man commended him, stopping a safe distance away. Perhaps he thought Sasuke unstable, or maybe he realised that Sasuke had every right to be mad and want to rip the man's head off. "I am glad that you are the last remaining, although I had expected as much."

Sasuke blinked slowly, the burning in his tongue returning with a vengeance, but he didn't care. It didn't really matter, the pain. He should treasure it. Pain was a luxury only the living knew.

"You will make an excellent replacement for Itachi."

He snapped.

Fists balled, Sasuke swung his head around madly to gesticulate clawed hands. He was seething, teeth bared and eyes maniacally wide, so inexplicably angry he found himself laughing. Hysterical laughter, laughter that frightened him, a glimpse of the monster with the capacity to kill.

"_You made me kill them!" _he heard himself shout, although it wasn't his voice. It was the voice of someone much older and insane, pushed over the edge and falling, just waiting for the ground to come up and greet him but it never would.

"They were children! I don't care what you say, those children were loved by someone, and they did have people who cared about them, and_—_I hate you, god I _hate you!_ You are absolute scum!_"_

Screaming, Sasuke sprinted towards him, a kunai clasped in his whitened knuckles.

"Trash! Putrid waste! Disgusting! Evil!"

The world around Sasuke tinged red, his eyes pulsating. Everything grew clearer. He corrected his stance to one stronger. He could see every weakness in Danzo's body, every chakra coil, and one very stony, very vulnerable beating heart. Danzo cocked his head to the side with new interest.

"You deserve nothing but death!"

Danzo waited until he was centimeters away before grabbing Sasuke's wrist and bending his arm back behind his head, twisting the bones with an audible crack. Sasuke dropped the kunai and cried out, falling to his knees. Just as suddenly as the world became red, it retreated back to its natural colours, blurrier and indistinct.

"It seems that wasn't enough to kill your spirit," Danzo said lowly. Sasuke looked up at the man in time to see his hand come slamming down on a pressure point in his neck. Sasuke's body seized in place before going slack, his eyes drooping closed, falling into the dirt.

"Fortunately, there are other ways."

-x-


	7. Sasuke Goes to See Danzo

CHAPTER 7

There were five divisions in Root: seduction/identity imitation, assassination, protection, information and government relations. All pertained to S-Rank missions. Most members were assigned to one or two divisions, two being their limit. Sasuke was sanctioned into three – unusual for a rookie, which only furthered Danzo's obsession with him.

Due to his Sharingan, Danzo trained Sasuke to be adept in genjutsu at the age of nine. He was taught to research and imitate others, gain fake personas and mimic personalities, traits and quirks. Sasuke was good at it, too. So good he was drafted into identity imitation and seduction. His age didn't matter, not when a simple henge could transform his body and appearance; could thrust him into missions full of flirting, gambling, deceit and blood. In Root, people didn't feel shame in assigning children to have sex with clients or enemies for intelligence and money. If it got the job done, there were no complaints.

Sasuke was strong – there was no fire jutsu he could not master. Danzo focused on developing Sasuke's chakra reserves and teaching him any form of fire manipulation he could deliver, and some. Sasuke went from seducing people five times his age to the protection unit. Whenever there was an international figure, daimyo, or someone of significance in Konoha, Sasuke was their personal guardian angel. He dealt with assassins, threats, traps and bandits. There was nobody he couldn't handle.

Sasuke killed people; missing-nin, complete strangers with family and friends, lives, loved ones. It was vaguely painful in the beginning, and the voice fought valiantly to maintain the notion of killing being wrong, but the guilt grew faint and less over time.

Pretty soon Sasuke didn't just kill people to protect. He was assigned to assassination, which concerned the disposal of undesirable shinobi, such as Konoha missing-nin and anyone else who might tarnish the Leaf's reputation. Amongst the Five Great Nations, it was considered common courtesy to dispose of your own trash, and not make others do it for you. That's exactly what Sasuke did.

Best of all, being a child was deceptive in itself – the moment he removed his mask and dressed in civilian's clothes, nobody suspected a thing. He was just the lonesome Uchiha boy who kept to himself and rarely left the house since his family died.

At the age of ten, Sasuke was working missions non-stop. Briefly, he would break from his work every few days in order to recuperate in his apartment. Sasuke now lived independently. It was strange. All the remaining members of Root had been declared dead to the disinterested public, mostly for the sake of secrecy. Nobody really made much of a fuss about their deaths, and very few had ever heard of them. However, everyone knew Sasuke, the last Uchiha. Sasuke guessed that was the reason why Danzo made him show up around Konoha every so often, so that nobody despaired over one of the most powerful clans in Konoha history being lost forever.

Occasionally, he was put into squads with Kabuto or Sai, people he loosely recalled from a long time ago. Kabuto's once disinterested gaze was now sharp and decisive, sometimes a bit jerky. Sasuke knew that Kabuto was unparalleled in his area of expertise, identity imitation, and was constantly working missions in other countries undercover as local shinobi. Once Kabuto was gone on a mission for nine months as a genin in Lightning Country. It took skill to not only memorise quirks and mannerisms, but base your personality around an entirely new culture. Sasuke admired Kabuto for that. He also found himself in the odd diplomatic mission, maintaining the treaty between Suna and Konoha as well as keeping an eye on them. Nobody but Konoha could be trusted, they'd been taught, especially not Suna. But they had to pretend they trusted each other, for the sake of peace.

Sai wasn't particularly spectacular at anything, although he always managed to get the job done. His unique ninjutsu allowed for him to complete numerous information-gathering missions without ever infiltrating the source. Sai had never been caught, and therefore never had to engage in serious battle. Sasuke wondered if he could even handle it, thin frame and princess pallour. Sai was clearly the kind of ninja who worked from the sidelines.

He remembered a Shin, too, but he figured Shin was dead now. Only one of the nine-year-olds could have prevailed during graduation, and Sai was from that age group. Sai didn't like to talk about Shin. They had been close.

Root operated in secret, and were physically impaired by their will suppression seals if attempting to reveal information regarding their organisation. Nobody was privy to classified Root information aside from Danzo and correlated Root members, not even the Hokage. It was for the good of the village, but that didn't mean much to Sasuke. He didn't do what he did for a reason. He did it because there was nothing else.

-x-

Danzo's sat in an empty hall. A stream of light from the ceiling landed in a pool on his large wooden desk. It was the only piece of furniture in the room, and no accents decorated the walls. No personal photographs, no trophies or certificates, no fond memories. Danzo matched the bland space, seated behind his desk with his hands folded and eyes closed. Sasuke approached him and knelt down on one knee, head bowed.

"You asked to see me, Danzo-sama," he said.

Danzo cleared his throat, opening his eye to look down on Sasuke, expression as unreadable as always. "Yes. You may stand."

Sasuke straightened, his eyes sterling emptiness. He stared at Danzo, waiting for the man to speak.

Danzo's voice was smooth and serious. "I have a mission for you," he said.

Danzo only called people into his office for two reasons: to assign missions, or exterminate them. Either way, Sasuke would have come.

"This mission is of great importance," he continued. "It is also unlike any other you have handled in the past."

_Don't do it,_ the voice urged him weakly. Sasuke ignored it.

"What classification?" Sasuke asked.

"Technically, none," Danzo replied, adjusting the bandages on his chin. His fingers were bony and frail, the only part of him that showed age. Danzo had gotten much older physically over the past two and a half years. Sasuke thought of how breakable those fingers were, and how those fingers could break things. "If I were to give it a name, I would call it a long term protection assignment."

Sasuke had never heard of such a thing. Protection missions only lasted a month at most.

"I understand," Sasuke said diplomatically.

Danzo looked faintly amused by his response, though there was no way of telling what that meant. He leant over to pull open one of three drawers in his desk, retrieving a mission scroll.

"I don't think you do," he replied evenly.

Danzo beckoned and Sasuke walked forward, taking the scroll from his lightly quivering grasp - his hands quivered in that inevitable way old people's hands do. Unfurling the thin paper, Sasuke's Sharingan jolted to life with a burst of warm chakra behind his eyes. He needed to memorise the details. Even after scanning it once, however, he had to go back and read it again, as he did not understand.

"Allow me to explain," Danzo said abruptly. Sasuke looked up. "We have recently heard from one of our trusted informants that a formidable organisation intends to steal something irreplaceable from Konoha."

Sasuke's eyes flickered down on the scroll, to one of the unfamiliar words. "The Akatsuki," he guessed.

"Indeed," said Danzo, looking mildly pleased. All of Danzo's expressions were mild. "They are a renowned criminal organisation involved in illicit activities. You will no doubt have seen each member in one of the bingo books. Members can be recognised by their black cloaks, broad-rimmed sunhats and red cloud insignia. Their names and subsequent information are detailed on the other side of the scroll."

Sasuke turned it over, his stomach performing an unprecedented flip. Danzo's eyes were steady on him as Sasuke stared at one face in particular, unable to help himself. He zeroed in on that face, that name. An inexplicable hatred twisted his insides, and he felt something he hadn't in a long time – his tongue burned.

Itachi Uchiha.

"You may recognise one of the Akatsuki as Itachi, formerly a member of ANBU as well as your older brother," Danzo said casually. Sasuke's eyes darted up at him, calculating. Was Danzo testing him?

"Yes," Sasuke replied, unable to hide the way his voice shook.

Danzo's eyes narrowed.

"I have chosen you for this mission specifically for that reason," he explained, hands unfolding to rest in silent warning on the edge of his desk. "I doubt anyone feels more compelled to ensure Itachi does not succeed in his criminal endeavours than you."

Sasuke swallowed, the mark on his tongue pulsing in response to his sudden rush of emotion. The voice was back; not necessarily saying anything, just complete nonsense sounds, making itself and all subsequent feelings known. Itachi meant something to the voice, something deeper than he could express.

Sasuke's fingers tightened on the scroll. "I see. I assume the object they seek is this so-called Kyuubi?"

Danzo nodded. "That's right."

"So, what is the Kyuubi?"

Danzo seemed hesitant to reply. He wasn't typically easy to read, and this obvious display of something or other was cause for alarm. His bandaged hand clenched.

"It's… Konoha's greatest weapon," he replied, though his tone suggested it was none too desirable a thing. "It is is one of the legendary Bijuu, behemoths abundant with chakra and endless power. The Kyuubi is the most extravagant of all, and is within Konoha's possession."

"If the Kyuubi is so powerful, how has Konoha contained it? Has the Kyuubi sworn allegiance to the Leaf?" he asked.

The corner of Danzo's mouth quirked in amusement. "No," he answered, "the power of the beast has been sealed away."

Now Sasuke really was confused. "If it's sealed, then why send someone to guard it?"

"That's where the protection aspect of this mission comes in," Danzo replied, once again rummaging in one of his drawers, this time retrieving a file. Sasuke accepted it without preamble and quickly skimmed its contents. As he did so, he began to understand.

"Naruto Uzumaki," he said aloud, examining the picture of the grinning boy that seemed familiar somehow. He felt like he should remember that name, but for the life of him he couldn't.

The voice made curious sounds, and Sasuke risked asking whether it knew anything about Naruto, but the voice would not answer. He supposed that was for the best, continuing to read the file labeled top secret on to the part about the Fourth Hokage, an attack, and sealing the demon into a newborn child. It sounded like a barbaric procedure. Only a desperate man could seal a malevolent beast in their ten minutes old son.

"So, I must protect Naruto Uzumaki from being targeted by Akatsuki," Sasuke concluded, curling the document back in its cylinder.

"Correct," said Danzo. "Unfortunately, the Kyuubi is a perceptive creature. Not only that, but Akatsuki are rather formidable when it comes to detecting and eliminating spies. Sending you into this mission as a member of ANBU would not only endanger Root, it would risk the exposure of Konoha's secrets."

Now, Sasuke understood. "That's why I must protect him under the guise of a teammate."

"Yes. Effective tomorrow, you will be an academy student, under the name of Sasuke Uchiha," said Danzo.

_I already am Sasuke Uchiha, you—_

Sasuke put out the voice's fire like a cigarette butt.

"It is important your grades are top of the class, to ensure you are placed on Naruto's team after graduation. They will reason your skill will even out his incompetence. I will be sure to suggest this to the Hokage."

Sasuke nodded. It would be simple to surpass a group of measly children.

"Since it is assumed that you have no prior training, other than perhaps some traditional low-level Uchiha fire techniques, you are forbidden to use jutsu above an academy level," Danzo informed him.

Ah. Perhaps it wouldn't be so easy, after all.

"What happens after the academy?" Sasuke asked.

"You graduate into his genin team, assuming he manages to pass. We may need to manipulate our sources to ensure he does. Otherwise, you will be kept back at the academy for another year, and so on until he progresses."

Judging by how little faith in this boy Danzo seemed to hold, he must have been sorely unimpressive. Enough that it might be better to omit the prospect of a shinobi career in general. Even more difficult than pretending to be at an academy-level would be pretending to fail a test just to stay for another year with Naruto.

"Since you are taking on the persona of your old self," Danzo continued, "there is no set personality for you to undertake. You may assume any temperament you see fit – preferably not too vivacious, as you must play the part of the grieving child."

_Play the part?_ The voice interjected so fiercely, Sasuke's head throbbed. He winced, and Danzo didn't miss it.

"Something wrong?" he asked, voice cold and sharp.

"Headache," he lied.

Danzo leaned back in his chair, apparently believing him. "I see. You won't be kept much longer. Prepare for the mission at your home apartment. This will be your residence for the duration of the mission. You are to report any suspicious behaviour straight to me, and nobody else. A mission report must be handed in weekly, and you are expected to run regular missions on top of this one, when you're not at the academy during the day. Other members of Root will be watching the Jinchuuriki in the evenings as janitors and landlords.

"Nobody, not even the Hokage, will have any knowledge of this," Danzo said sternly. "No other members of Root will be privy to this information. It is strictly between you and I. If ever you are compromised, do not hesitate to dispose of yourself."

"Yes sir," Sasuke replied with a sharp salute. Danzo waved him off with a casual hand, and Sasuke turned to go.

-x-


End file.
